


Several Spoonfuls of Sugar

by misura



Category: Machineries of Empire Series - Yoon Ha Lee
Genre: Epistolary, F/F, Yuletide Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-10
Updated: 2017-12-10
Packaged: 2019-02-16 00:32:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13042785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: Would anyone truly object to living in the Year of the Pecan and Banana Muffin, Month of the Milk and Carrot Pudding, Day of the Shortbread? I wonder.(Vahenz, Zai & the new calendar)





	Several Spoonfuls of Sugar

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Alona](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alona/gifts).



**Fortress of Scattered Needles, Analysis**  
**Priority:** High  
**From:** Vahenz afrir dai Noum  
**To:** Heptarch Liozh Zai  
**Calendrical Minutiae:** soon to be determined. I have faith.

Numbers, my dear Zai. You may be rolling your eyes at me, but if you were to decide to base your calendar, on, say, the game pieces used in Trumpets and Trousers (an example only, I assure you) that would effectively be telling people we don't expect this little enterprise of ours to last longer than seven years. I'm sure that you don't need me to tell you that would not be a good thing.

I maintain baked goods qualify. However, out of consideration for your workload, I won't press the issue, other than to mention you might be more kindly inclined to the food group were you to partake of it once in a while, rather than stick with your ascetic diet. A life lived denying yourself is no more productive than a life lived indulging every now and then, I can assure you from personal experience.

Stoghan's suggestion that you base your calendar on archaic armaments needs never be mentioned again. He's an idiot, albeit for the moment one we have some use for.

I hate to rush you, but do settle this quickly, so we can move on to more practical matters. You don't need to explain the importance of the issue to me. I'm fully aware of how essential it is to establish a calendar as our first step in building a defense. However, it is only the first step. We still have a long way to go, and only so many days to cover the distance, whether they be named for flowers, herbs or cookie flavors.

Yours in calendrical heresy,  
Vh.

 

 **Fortress of Scattered Needles, Analysis**  
**Priority:** High  
**From:** Vahenz afrir dai Noum  
**To:** Heptarch Liozh Zai  
**Calendrical Minutiae:** a work in progress.

Would anyone truly object to living in the Year of the Pecan and Banana Muffin, Month of the Milk and Carrot Pudding, Day of the Shortbread? I wonder.

I'll grant you it can get to be rather a mouthful. However, I must once again strongly disagree with Abrana's assertion that we would be unfairly promoting certain foods over others, as if people would be more or less inclined to partake of this or that type of food on the mere strength of something being a part of their calendar. Only consider, my dear Zai: were I to tell you my people refer to today as the Feasting Day of Walnut and Honey Bitter Chocolate Chip Cookies, would you feel the least inclined to sample the ones I've dispatched to your office not seven minutes ago? Of course not. I know you better than that, for all that in this, as in few things, I should be delighted for you to prove me wrong.

Regarding days of celebration and ritual torture, I believe you are aware of my stance. Patience. It is something I have discovered to be a virtue in my line of work, which is another way of saying that in order to create a better, more just regime, survival trumps everything else.

Should you wish to talk or further detail my thoughts on any subject, you can find me at the firing range this evening.

Yours in calendrical heresy,  
Vh.

 

 **Fortress of Scattered Needles, Analysis**  
**Priority:** High  
**From:** Vahenz afrir dai Noum  
**To:** Heptarch Liozh Zai  
**Calendrical Minutiae:** democracy is a fine thing, indeed

I mean that. I am all in favor of letting the majority of people decide what everyone else should be doing. Sure, some people are idiots, but in doing things your way, at least such people will hardly ever waste your time and mine by making insipid speeches during meetings better spent settling on a way to distinguish between this day and the next.

You understand, it's not that I object to being bored. Time, my dear Zai, is on our side. It would just be nice if we had some way to tell it.

Just in case, I've had Analysis Team Five start compiling a list of baked goods, candies and confections with names that will enable people to get through telling one another the date without needing to resort to abbreviations. Bonbons are in, sweet red bean pastries are probably out, as are minesalt and caramel lava cookies. Let me know if you'd like me to keep your apprised of any developments in this area. I'm here to help.

Fair warning: I may drop by later to check on your security people. Don't spoil the surprise, will you? As always, I'll come bearing gifts. Not that I expect you to appreciate them.

Yours in calendrical heresy,  
Vh.

 

 **Fortress of Scattered Needles, Analysis**  
**Priority:** High  
**From:** Vahenz afrir dai Noum  
**To:** Heptarch Liozh Zai  
**Calendrical Minutiae:** this was not my intention when I gave those animal-shaped cookies to your assistant.

Are you laughing at me right now, my dear Zai? I hope you are. You don't smile or laugh nearly enough, and so it would comfort me to know that you take some joy in this. Honesty compells me to add that I have also acquired some black currant and radish pie for additional or, as the case may be, solitary comfort. We all have our weaknesses. It's just that I'm usually better at compensating for mine.

Complaints aside, I suppose congratulations are due. May the next steps in the process require fewer meetings and comfort food.

The Hexarchate is coming. When they arrive, very bad things are going to happen. We may all find ourselves partaking of your diet for some time. I say this to impress upon you the seriousness of my commitment. We will win. In the end, we will beat them. I am convinced of it.

I am less certain of my ability to get you to see the light about nougat. Nevertheless, in this, too, I will persevere, not out of stubbornness, but out of my deep and abiding affection for you. I am not usually one to say the best things should be shared with lovers, particularly not when it comes to grossly overpriced goods from that delightful confectionary you claim I mention far too often. Still, in the case of their white chocolate blueberry muffins, I am forced to make an exception.

Yours in calendrical heresy,  
Vh.

 

 **Fortress of Scattered Needles, Analysis**  
**Priority:** High  
**From:** Vahenz afrir dai Noum  
**To:** Heptarch Liozh Zai  
**Calendrical Minutiae:** Year of the Fatted Cow, Month of the Horse, Day of the Billy Goat

Apologies for what happened to Dze's agents are, I feel, uncalled for. To keep the peace, though, I have dispatched a gift basket, in the hopes that this may settle the matter. The gift basket also contains some of those delightful pineapple eclairs I recommended to your assistant the other day - you may want to alert him. Assuming Dze doesn't keep them all to themselves, a trade may be facilitated. 

I am still debating whether or not the one agent surviving that particular trap warrants an attempt at poaching. I suppose I shall postpone my final decision until after it's become clear whether or not the woman will regain the full use of her legs.

To be quite honest, the incident left me with considerable doubts as to whether I might be losing my touch. Happily, Dze isn't the only one who took the bait of a supposed 'technical glitch' in my security system to send her agents to do a little snooping. I'll spare you further details. You're happier not knowing, and I'm happier not having you scowl at me.

On a semi-related note: would it be possible for you to expedite my office's requests for some supplies? We've found ourselves unexpectedly short on both paperclips and pencil erasers, and I don't expect our rubber bands will last the week.

Yours in calendrical heresy,  
Vh.


End file.
